Learning From Serpents (contest at the bottom)

A Guest Post About Shrewd: Daring to Obey the Startling Command of Jesus
-By Rick Lawrence

Five-or-so years ago I was locked in what felt like an all-out war over a dream that was in danger of dying, because a man who was much shrewder than me was bent on stopping it. One day, in my grief and fear and anger over what was about to happen, I felt God sort of “sit me down” and challenge me—it was clear that my “frontal” way of dealing with this situation was not going to work, and He was asking me if I was going to have the courage to move more shrewdly. In the nicey-nice Christian culture that is promoted and perpetuated in most churches, shrewdness is anathema—worse, it’s entirely off the radar as a spiritual practice.
So, in an uncharacteristic spirit of desperation, I asked God to teach me what I needed to know about shrewdness—and He (of course) brought me to Jesus, the source of all good things. The point of Jesus’ “Parable of the Shrewd Manager” (Luke 16:1-8) is specifically to highlight the behavior of a lazy, lying, good-for-nothing servant who has no qualities we’d want to emulate except for one: his shrewd way of saving himself from the consequences of his terrible behavior. Jesus highlights this anti-role-model for one purpose: “The people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light.” Later, in preparation for sending out His disciples on their first ministry journey without Him, He tells them to take nothing with them (no clothing, money, or “insurance” of any kind)—instead, He tells them they need just two things:
1. Be as shrewd as a serpent, and
2. Be as innocent as a dove.
The word He uses here for “serpent” is the same one He uses for Satan. And the word He uses here for “dove” is the same the Bible uses to describe the Holy Spirit. Jesus is telling His disciples to be as shrewd as Satan is, but as innocent as the Holy Spirit is. Shrewdness, then, is a way of living and relating that Jesus first modeled for us, then commanded us to do likewise.
In Shrewd: Daring to Obey the Startling Command of Jesus, I describe “shrewd” as a way of thinking and acting that Jesus long ago urged His followers to use in their uprising against the powers and ‘spiritual forces of wickedness’ of this world. Shrewd people—and Jesus is the Exemplar—first study how things work, and then leverage that knowledge to tip the balance in a favored direction. Shrewdness is the expert application of leverage—“the right force at the right time in the right place”—as The Way Things Work author David Macaulay observes. Jesus is perpetually taking what His enemies intend for evil and morphing it into good—He uses their destructive momentum against them, like a martial artist. Most Christians have a negative reaction to the word “shrewd,” but Jesus not only exemplified this way of relating to others in His redemptive mission on earth, He gave us a mandate to grow much, much more adept in our practice of it.
Because I’ve had scores of conversations with people, both young and old, about the mechanics of “innocent shrewdness,” I know people of all ages have experienced repeated failure in their frontal, conventional approaches to problems and challenges in their life. They’re frustrated and lost. And when I simply walk them through a Jesus-centered process of thinking and acting more shrewdly, it’s like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz moving from her flat, black-and-white world into the 3-D colors of Oz. The process, simply, looks like this:
• Answer the question: “What do I really want?” Jesus habitually asked an irritating question of people with obvious needs who approached Him for help: “What do you want?” (e.g., Matt. 20:32; Mark 6:22; Mark 10:36; Mark 10:51; Luke 18:41). We must know what we really want before we can truly ask in faith.
• Answer the question: “Is my ‘want’ born out of innocence? Would I feel just fine asking Jesus for this ‘want’ if I was face-to-face with Him?”
• Answer the question: “How does this (person, organization, or process) work?” Shrewd living always starts with understanding how things work—so spend five minutes brainstorming (either alone or with someone you trust) an answer to this question.
• Based on your understanding of how things work, spend five minutes brainstorming a point of leverage to go after with a “sideways” approach. Sideways means the leverage comes from an unexpected direction—you find “sideways” by experimenting with approaches that carry the force to move the situation.
• Now, try one of your options and debrief the results with someone you trust. Decide whether to continue with that option or whether to try a new approach.
• Repeat steps #3, #4, and #5 in a continuous loop—until you’ve landed on “the right force at the right time in the right place.”

Rick Lawrence is the author of dozens of books, including Shrewd: Daring to Obey the Startling Command of Jesus and Sifted: God’s Scandalous Response to Satan’s Outrageous Demand (shrewdbook.com and siftedbook.com). He’s has been editor of Group Magazine for 25 years and is the co-leader of the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. Rick is a church leader, consultant to national research organizations and a frequent conference and workshop speaker. He and his family live in Colorado.


Many of you (youth pastors) will remember Rick from our Calibrate retreat last year. Stud of a guy!
Do you have an iPad, iPhone? Want to win a copy of Rick's book Shrewd? Comment on here and like it below the post and you will be entered into a drawing for an eBook copy!

I Thought My Life Was Over (literally)

Warning: this is a long one. (don't want to read the whole thing? Scroll to the bottom and watch the video)

A couple of weeks ago I had set up some meetings in Redding California. Those meetings were placed around our high schools houseboats camp (Red) at Shasta Lake. So I decided to go down an extra day early and spend 24 hours with our high schoolers on the houseboats.

As soon as I pulled to shore on one of the speedboats a few students yelled my name and asked if I wanted to go on a hike. That's what I was there for so I said, "Of course!" I dropped off my suitcase and sleeping bag and headed up in my board shorts and flip flops. We started out as a group of nine but about a mile into the hike there are only six of us left. Five high schoolers and me. The hike was up a ravine where you can tell that a river comes during the rainy times. As a matter of fact we found water about halfway up.

These guys had hiked this before but had never gone as far as we did. They wanted to go all the way to the top. After we had been hiking for about 45 minutes to an hour I mentioned that it was going to take a lot longer to go down because there were several sections we had to do some good climbing. And I was one of two who was only wearing flip-flops. (had I only known)

At one point it was going to be a good climb and I saw that if I went up to the left and climbed the rockface and used a rope that I saw, I could probably do it easier to get around where the others went. I kept finding more ridges to grab onto with my fingers and my feet and kept climbing and climbing. Because I had to use my hands and feet I was completely focused on the next spot in front of me. This meant I did not see the bigger picture.

The guys kept saying, "Erik, you are boss!" I felt weird, because I knew I was their leader, but I was not their boss. Perhaps this helped to encourage my continual climbing, I don't know. ;) As I made my way up I suddenly came to a spot where there was a lot of loose dirt and rocks. I looked back from where I came from and realized I could not go back down. If I tried I would most definitely slide down to a painful end. So I carefully moved to the next stable spot I could get to while slipping here and there a bit. I was able to grab onto to "rocks" that were part of the rockface and knew they would be safe. My left foot went totally sideways on a small lip that held my foot while my right foot was in a spot where it was like I was stretching out my calf. There was loose dirt under my right foot so I kept slowly sliding and having to readjust.

About 15 feet to my right was a ridge that I thought might possibly be safety. I saw a good sized rock and reached out for it, putting about 85% of my weight on it, when it immediately caused a small avalanche. I uttered a worty dird (which is rare) and somehow pulled myself back with my left fingers. I apologized to the guys and assessed my surroundings. 15 feet on either side of my was a ridge that may be climbable; 15 feet below me was a 20 foot drop and then another 50-70 feet to the bottom; 20 feet above me were trees and safety. I was stuck. Stuck like, "I know I can not get to safety on my own" stuck.

I sent 2 of the guys down for help and told them, "Yes, you can bring me a rope, but I WANT PROFESSIONAL CLIMBERS!!!" I reiterated that fact several times so it was clear I was in a precarious situation. This was not just Erik joking around.

I calculated the time that there could possibly be someone to come and get me. If it took us about an hour to get there and it would be more difficult to get back down then tell someone and then someone come back up with the rope it was going to be quite a long time.

I sent two of the guys up the rest of the way of the mountain to come around to where I was above me. And Trevor stayed down below. At one point he asked if we wanted to talk about something and I said, "No, I need to concentrate." I was thinking about things I have not talked my children yet. I also thought about me Jeanne-Ann could marry that could help her raise our four children. Most of my friends my HR married and single guys are too young. I have high standards for my family!

All of a sudden in my head I started singing the song "center."

It was pretty cool, because in the face of death I wanted Jesus to be right there in the middle of everything. I guess knowing that I potentially would see him in a few moments that's all I needed.

After a while I think I had enough thought about this and needed some level of distraction from my thought process. I called down to Trevor and told I would like him to share his story with me. I was very thankful for Trevor in that moment.

After about two hours I heard Jeramy's voice. He started quoting from the Bible. "The Lord is my strength." "The Lord is my strength when I am weak." I have never sensed God's word being so alive and active and real as in that moment. Between what Jeramy was saying and the fact that Jeramy was there I found some renewed energy to hold on. Then the old classic song "All in All" began to run through my mind.
It was great! it's truly amazing how powerful music is. I'm so thankful for it in my life.

He started to climb up after me the way I came. I immediately yelled for him not to come up. That's how I got stuck. I didn't want him to be stuck as well. At the same time, Trevor took the rope that Jeramy had brought and brought it up the rest of the way. It seems to be taking forever. Every minute felt like it was possibly my last.

After about 15 minutes I yelled to the two guys above me, "Where is he?!" They thought he was about 30 feet away. A few minutes later I yelled again where was he. They couldn't see him. I said, "I thought you said he was 30 feet away a few minutes ago?" They said the brush was so thick it was hard to tell. At this point I started yelling at them as did Jeramy. I was losing my grip.

I didn't know if I had anymore left in me. I told Jeramy I didn't think I could hold on any longer. I had lost complete feeling in my right foot 30 minutes prior to that. My mouth was so dry. I could feel my throat constricting from the heat, lack of water and loss of significant amounts of sweat.

I seriously thought,

this.

is.

it.

Finally I heard the guys above me telling me they were tying the rope to the tree. They dropped down the rope and suddenly an avalanche of rocks and dirt came cascading down on me. There was a pretty good sized one that smacked me right on top of the head. I just didn't want one to hit my hands. I was fading fast. With every move of the rope more rocks came at me. When the rope was within reach I mustered all the strength I had and held on with one hand and wrapped the rope around me. I looked up and saw that they were holding the rope. I told them they had to let go as I could not live with one or more of them slipping to their death trying to save me.

They let down more slack and I wrapped more and more around me. When it was finally taught I looked at my options and went for it. I gave a small tug and pushed for the left ridge with all I had in me. I slipped and grasped and pulled with all my might. Rocks and dirt falling from under my feet. I was able to grab a tree root and then began the climb up.

When I reached the top I made sure I was clear and I sat down. I just sat there in complete and utter disbelief. I was alive. I was no longer in any major life-threatening danger. My leg began to shake like crazy, but I was alive!!!

After a few minutes Jeramy had made his way to where we were and we began to make our way to the top of the mountain. It was then that I realized why it took so long for the guys to get through. The trees and brush was so thick it was scratching and scraping at everyone of us along the way. We were not out of the woods yet (literally) as we had to duck and slide over to the top. There were lots of fist-sized rocks below me and I knew I would need to slide down them and grab the next tree several times along the way. That's when I heard the loud chopping sounds of the blades of the rescue helicopter. I waved at them and they turned around! What? I still had a nasty journey ahead of me in my flip-flops. I heard later they were told I was fine. Not sure who had any knowledge of that fact, seeing how everyone involved was with me.

We made it down and there was the sheriff just outside of his boat waiting for me. "Are you injured?" "Not really." "Good, then this will be quick. I need your name, your D.O.B and your credit card number...haha. Just kidding." A joking police officer was just what I needed after a near death experience. Haha. I got on the leader boat. Drank a couple of bottles of water, ate an apple and recounted the story to the leaders who were there.

I still can't believe it.

Far away shot. I was stuck right in the middle

Getting closer

There I was. Gulp.

Thanx Search & Rescue.
It's the thought that counts, right?

I will forever be thankful to God for these guys and their role in saving my life!

Here is the video Jared Schilling shot of me telling the story.

Forever Family Anniversary (1 year ago today we got custody of the babies)

One year ago today (July 12, 2011) we walked into our lawyer's office with a speech prepared explaining why we wanted him to make some calls and visits so we could hurry up the process a bit. We had just left the orphanage after our 2 1/2 hour visit with the babies. After I was done blabbering my long list, he smiled, waited a moment and said, "You can go get them now."

"What?!"

"You can go get them now."

"You mean permanantly?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Literally, right now we can go back to the orphanage and take them and never have to take them back there ever again?"

"Yes!"

Tears streaming down my face. I turn to Jeanne-ann and Kynzi and Karston. We scream. Jump up and down and hug. I round our lawyers desk and give him a huge hug! He told me he was going to call and let us know, but because I had called him first to say we wanted to drop by for a visit, he decided to wait to tell me in person.

Here is a video of our "meetcha day." This is actually from the first time we ever saw/met/held Haak and Nyah.

For Ladies Only!

Recently I did a post for guys only so I thought it would only be fair to do for the ladies. So here we go:

A couple of years ago we started this up. It was great as we were putting out podcast regularly and one day we connected with Rethink Monthly Magazine. Bo Lane, who ran the magazine, asked if we would be interested in being a subsidiary of Rethink Monthly. We thought that would be a great connection. That December Rethink got hacked in a major way. It destroyed Rethink's website and our website.

Long story short a couple of years later with the help of Bo and a brand-new team we are back! The core team is still together Becca, Bex and I. We are the podcast crew. We have also added several others to the team. Several bloggers who each have a specialty area.

Jesse is our fitness blogger. (get ready to learn helpful tips to stay in shape)

Shawna is our food blogger. (want to learn how to make a good meal or even eat on a budget? Shawna has some seriously yummy recipes)

And Molly is our fashion blogger. (looking to stay fashionable and don't want to have to show so much skin? Molly knows her stuff)

Elise does all of the tech stuff for us and runs the website.

So what is this all about you ask? Basically it is a podcast and website for all things girl. Everything we talk about and write about deals with issues and conversations "chicks" would have.

You may also be asking what in the world is a guy doing in this program for girls. That's a great question. Initially I was asked to be the tech guy. Becca and I worked together as middle school pastors for several years and have a great relationship. It started out as a two of us but when we interviewed Bex and her dad it became quickly obvious to both of us that she needed to be part of the team!

Originally Becca wanted to do a radio program. I had some connections with an AM Christian radio station but I didn't think that was the right thing for us. I felt like going to where technology news today was going to be the best thing. Thus the podcast and website.

So now I get to bring the token guys perspective on the things that we talk about. We talk a lot about relationships and typical "chick" conversations and have great interviews with professionals in different fields including skincare, psychologists talking about body image, and health professionals.

We also like to talk about what's going on in pop culture that is relevant to girls. Anything that we believe would be encouraging and helpful to girls, that's where we are going to focus our attention. Honestly, it will largely be directed by listeners to the podcasts and readers of the blog who have questions about certain subjects. We are open to having discussions about anything and all things girl.

So, if you are a chick, please jump on chickchatpodcast.com.

Give us a listen and feel free to comment and even subscribe on iTunes. We would love your comments in iTunes too!

Warning: You may hate this!

I love a good story. I love a story that draws me in and works on my emotions: anger, sadness, laughter, etc. It's why I love TV and movies. It is also why I love country music. I have my college buddy, Mike Rice, to thank for that. Whenever we rode in his car that is all we ever listened to. I would relentlessly mock him until that one day when I found myself singing along to a song. I was furious at myself. It snuck up on me. It got inside my head and my heart.

I confess. I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC!!

I wanted to share with you a few songs that are about being a dad. These are songs I wish I wrote. They speak words that are inside me in a way that connects with me deeply. I suppose when you are a parent and there is a touching song about parenting or your kids you can't help but connect.

Warning: these will tug at your heart strings.

* Just Fishing (Trace Adkins)


* He's Mine (Rodney Atkins)


* I Loved Her First (Heartland)


* Watching You (Rodney Atkins)


* Anything Like Me (Brad Paisley)


As I was finding these different songs I let the tears flow freely. Man! I do not like my kids growing up. Maybe we just keep adopting so we don't have to have the nest empty. ;)

There are soooo many good ones. I am going to put the links to several others below. Enjoy.

* Tough Little Boys - Gary Allan
* Mr. Mom - Lonestar
* Cleaning this Gun - Rodney Atkins
* Let Them Be Little - Lonestar
* Stealing Cinderella - Chuck Wicks
* Love Without End, Amen - George Strait
* I’m Already There -  Lonestar 
* My Front Porch Lookin’ In - Lonestar
* My Little Girl - Tim McGraw 
* You’re Gonna Miss This - Trace Adkins
* Family Man - Craig Campbell
  

A Weekend of Spontaneity

spon·ta·ne·i·ty

noun \ˌspän-tə-ˈnē-ə-tē, -ˈnā-\

voluntary or undetermined action or movement.

On Friday we sent a text to the Mann's and said, "Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?" We drove up to Fox Island for the day. We finally got to meet sweet little Jude!!! We talked, played at the park and enjoyed some dinner together. This was such a needed time for our families. It's hard to spend lots of time together when you live 3 hours away from each other. Mostly it's just good to be together.

Nyah, Mercy & Haak. We tried to get all 3 to co-operate. haha.

Karston & Jude

Kynzi & Jude

We ended up staying way later than we planned and as a result we didn't get home until 1:45AM! I finished my last paper for my class in the car and uploaded it outside of a hotel on the way home. It had to be in by midnight.

Although it was extremely late night, it was so good for our souls. I am very thankful to have friends that no matter time nor distance we will always stay connected.

The next morning I slept in until 10 AM! Then Karston and I decided to go fishing. We stopped at Safeway for some delicious sandwiches and headed to our destination. After about an hour or so we arrived at Detroit lake. We decided to fish off the bank you're the bridge.

 

Although Karston only got a few bites (and I got a big fat nothing!) we shared stories and laugh a lot. In the video below, Trace Adkins was singing about his daughter but it completely applies to us.

I love my son! I do everything I can to try to hold on to the moments we have. I don't want to waste my children's childhood because I'm too busy with stuff.

On Monday I was going to go paint balling with my dgroup guys. Instead we ended up shooting airsoft guns. We went out to Wheatland Park. That was my first time shooting airsoft guns at other people. Those suckers hurt! Bryant had a sniper rifle and shot me from across the gully and hit me in my tooth. I seriously thought I lost it at first. We played for several hours and I have the welts to prove it. 

Monday night my dgroup and Kara Brown's dgroup got together for a worship night with s'mores! We asked them to all share stories of moments where God really impacted their lives in high school. And then imparted wisdom as to how to stay connected to Jesus after they leave high school. It was a very sweet time together. And evening I will remember for a long time.

 

I love casting vision and dreaming about the future and making big plans, but I absolutely love spontaneous moments that just come together. I feel like it brings a lot of spice to life. 

This weekend was extremely spicy!

For Men Only

Last weekend I got the opportunity to speak at our church's men's retreat. Yes, of course we did a bunch of guy stuff: paintball, high ropes course and shooting guns...

Me and Steve after the ropes course and paintball.

The topic for my seminar was "Following God and Leading Your Family." I wanted to share with you last portion of my talk.  When I was in Atlanta, Home Improvement was very popular and when friends were getting married we decided to do "Tool Time" parties for the guys. Girls get to have bridal showers, but it is weird, for some reason, for guys to have showers.

Great lake for fishing, kayaking and swimming. Blob in the summer.

So, we had these "Tool Time" parties where everyone brought some sort of tool as a gift and then we did "guy stuff." (played video games, ate food, grunted, and oohed and aahed over all the great tools he would get). Then we had a very cool time of sharing advice for the guy who was about to get married. Everyone got an opportunity to give him insight into married life and much of what was shared came as a result of mistakes we had made. It is good to learn from your mistakes.

Below is a list of "advice" I shared at the men's retreat that I think would be helpful to making you a better husband and father. I want to be clear...I AM NOT SUPER HUSBAND OR SUPER DAD!!! I have learned from my own mistakes and others' mistakes. I am continually learning and often don't remember the lessons I learned, but these are some lessons I have remembered.

* Care about the wound, not the poor decision. When your kids are messing around and you tell them not to, and they keep messing around, sooner or later they will get hurt.  When it happens, don't jump down their throat and tell them "I told you so." They already know they messed up. Take a moment to breath and then love on them. Don't look to be right, do the right thing.

* Jeanne-Ann was backing the van out of the garage and ripped off the mirror. I remember coming home and not getting upset (like my instinct was) and how much she appreciated that.

* Very recently we purchased a new van to replace the duct taped mirror van and we have only had a a short while.  When she backed up out of the driveway she ran over one of those cable boxes at the end of the driveway. (they are in such an ugly and stupid spot!) She also had a few other things go on that day that were tough.  I brought her flowers. (these 2 incidents were years apart...don't read that she is a bad driver)

* When you come home, put away the laptop and cell phone. I put away my laptop a couple of years ago, but the cell phone has been tied to my person forever! About 2 months ago I started leaving it on the counter on silent. I don't want to hear, "Pappa, is your iPhone more important than me?"

* Make wise decisions with your TV and movie viewing.

* Read with your kids!   A couple of things I have read with my kids recently. Jesus Calling (kids edition) and several of these "Christian heroes of the faith" books that are easy reads about different missionaries (Eric Liddle, Jim Elliot, etc.).

* Know their culture. You don’t have to be someone you are not, but have an idea. Don't let your 10 year old go see the Hunger Games when you have no idea what it is about.

* Have dinner together as often as possible.

* Every night I put my kids to bed. Pray with them and for them. Model prayer. Model reading your Bible. I kiss them good night and say “I love you. Jesus loves you and I love being your Pappa."

* Don’t let your wife do all the work around the house. You would be surprised what doing a little clean up will do to her mood. The happiness level rises...even more so if you do it together!

* Don’t come home and unload your bad work day thinking she has done nothing all day.

* Hold hands and kiss your wife and let your kids see it.

Those are a few thoughts. Chew on them. Do them. Share your ideas. I would love to have you share them in the comments.

If you are of the female persuasion and you read this, feel free to pass it along to that guy you love. But no using it against them.