My Heart...Christmas Eve

In our home we mix traditions from Norway and the States. This year we started off the morning opening up one gift and then started into the full gift giving in the afternoon. We paused for a traditional Norwegian Christmas meal and had Risen Grøt, this is basically a rice pudding that is hot...basically. We put sugar, cinnamon and butter on top. In one of the bowls (this is a mystery to everyone) there is a peeled almond. The person who gets the almond gets a prize. It's great fun to pretend we have it and save the reveal until everyone is done. This year Karston got the almond (mandel in Norwegian). It was his first year getting it without "all the little kids get one."

The big winner!

Eager anticipation for the next gift

Then we jumped back to presents for a while. We decided to go to the 5PM service at church, as we would have been late for the 3PM service. I love going to Christmas Eve service at our church. It's a highlight of the year. We sing tons of great Chrsitmasy songs, hear the story of Jesus in new and creative ways and finish with anyone who wants to go on stage singing the Hallelujah chorus! I used to make fun of that until the first time I did it. I remember pulling my friend Steve on stage when we were in Atlanta and laughing most of the way through it. Now I truly love that moment.

Part way into the service there was a drawing of baby Jesus up on the wall. My heart suddenly longed for our babies in a way it hadn't yet. Oh, I've been longing for them for quite a while, but it had not hit me until that moment that I never dreamed we would make it to Christmas and not hear a word about our referral. Tears slipped down my face as I thanked Jesus for coming to the earth so that we would have the opportunity for forgiveness of sins and eternity in heaven when we leave this earth. I have been resting in Philippians 4:6 recently, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I try not to be anxious about this process. I try to just thank God for the process and for my children and for the MANY people who have been part of our journey. I also present my requests to God. This night I was just sad as I longed for them.

That night, as Jeanne-Ann and I were talking she told me that she was crying and longing for our kids. She didn't know that it was happening to me too! Haha. They are coming. We will get a referral. For now, we just sit and wait. We live life, one day at a time. Each day praying the next will be the day we get the call. God is good...all the time. I know this to be true!

My sweet children, I know you are out there. I pray for you every single day! So do your brother and sister and mother. We can't wait to meet you and live with you as a forever family!