Dear ____________ Hotel,
I wanted to write you and thank you for giving me a place to stay. Even when it is last minute. I also wanted to say that I noticed that card you left on my bed and in the bathroom. You know the one that says you are an earth friendly hotel and you want to do your part in conserving water? I get it. that's cool. It is very trendy to be "green." Good for you for jumping on that.
I was wondering if maybe you could help me help you be part of the solution. You know how sometimes you put in small print, "If you do not want to be charged $.75 per day for the newspaper (which, by the way, only costs $.50) just initial here? Well, what if you did the same thing with sheets and towels?!!? What if you gave me the option to save some money by checking a box saying that I don't want you to do my sheets and towels and save me $2.50 or $10.00 or something like that? Great idea, isn't it? That way, you could actually prove you are about the earth and I could have the opportunity to show I cared too. As it stands now, I look like a jerk who doesn't care if I just leave my towels on the floor and the card on the night stand. I don't really have a choice, do I?
So what do you say hotel? Are you in? Or will you keep putting on this facade like you really give a rip and keep sucking every penny out of me you can?
--Your Loyal "Guest"
Erik w/a "k"