A Weekend of Spontaneity

spon·ta·ne·i·ty

noun \ˌspän-tə-ˈnē-ə-tē, -ˈnā-\

voluntary or undetermined action or movement.

On Friday we sent a text to the Mann's and said, "Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?" We drove up to Fox Island for the day. We finally got to meet sweet little Jude!!! We talked, played at the park and enjoyed some dinner together. This was such a needed time for our families. It's hard to spend lots of time together when you live 3 hours away from each other. Mostly it's just good to be together.

Nyah, Mercy & Haak. We tried to get all 3 to co-operate. haha.

Karston & Jude

Kynzi & Jude

We ended up staying way later than we planned and as a result we didn't get home until 1:45AM! I finished my last paper for my class in the car and uploaded it outside of a hotel on the way home. It had to be in by midnight.

Although it was extremely late night, it was so good for our souls. I am very thankful to have friends that no matter time nor distance we will always stay connected.

The next morning I slept in until 10 AM! Then Karston and I decided to go fishing. We stopped at Safeway for some delicious sandwiches and headed to our destination. After about an hour or so we arrived at Detroit lake. We decided to fish off the bank you're the bridge.

 

Although Karston only got a few bites (and I got a big fat nothing!) we shared stories and laugh a lot. In the video below, Trace Adkins was singing about his daughter but it completely applies to us.

I love my son! I do everything I can to try to hold on to the moments we have. I don't want to waste my children's childhood because I'm too busy with stuff.

On Monday I was going to go paint balling with my dgroup guys. Instead we ended up shooting airsoft guns. We went out to Wheatland Park. That was my first time shooting airsoft guns at other people. Those suckers hurt! Bryant had a sniper rifle and shot me from across the gully and hit me in my tooth. I seriously thought I lost it at first. We played for several hours and I have the welts to prove it. 

Monday night my dgroup and Kara Brown's dgroup got together for a worship night with s'mores! We asked them to all share stories of moments where God really impacted their lives in high school. And then imparted wisdom as to how to stay connected to Jesus after they leave high school. It was a very sweet time together. And evening I will remember for a long time.

 

I love casting vision and dreaming about the future and making big plans, but I absolutely love spontaneous moments that just come together. I feel like it brings a lot of spice to life. 

This weekend was extremely spicy!

For Men Only

Last weekend I got the opportunity to speak at our church's men's retreat. Yes, of course we did a bunch of guy stuff: paintball, high ropes course and shooting guns...

Me and Steve after the ropes course and paintball.

The topic for my seminar was "Following God and Leading Your Family." I wanted to share with you last portion of my talk.  When I was in Atlanta, Home Improvement was very popular and when friends were getting married we decided to do "Tool Time" parties for the guys. Girls get to have bridal showers, but it is weird, for some reason, for guys to have showers.

Great lake for fishing, kayaking and swimming. Blob in the summer.

So, we had these "Tool Time" parties where everyone brought some sort of tool as a gift and then we did "guy stuff." (played video games, ate food, grunted, and oohed and aahed over all the great tools he would get). Then we had a very cool time of sharing advice for the guy who was about to get married. Everyone got an opportunity to give him insight into married life and much of what was shared came as a result of mistakes we had made. It is good to learn from your mistakes.

Below is a list of "advice" I shared at the men's retreat that I think would be helpful to making you a better husband and father. I want to be clear...I AM NOT SUPER HUSBAND OR SUPER DAD!!! I have learned from my own mistakes and others' mistakes. I am continually learning and often don't remember the lessons I learned, but these are some lessons I have remembered.

* Care about the wound, not the poor decision. When your kids are messing around and you tell them not to, and they keep messing around, sooner or later they will get hurt.  When it happens, don't jump down their throat and tell them "I told you so." They already know they messed up. Take a moment to breath and then love on them. Don't look to be right, do the right thing.

* Jeanne-Ann was backing the van out of the garage and ripped off the mirror. I remember coming home and not getting upset (like my instinct was) and how much she appreciated that.

* Very recently we purchased a new van to replace the duct taped mirror van and we have only had a a short while.  When she backed up out of the driveway she ran over one of those cable boxes at the end of the driveway. (they are in such an ugly and stupid spot!) She also had a few other things go on that day that were tough.  I brought her flowers. (these 2 incidents were years apart...don't read that she is a bad driver)

* When you come home, put away the laptop and cell phone. I put away my laptop a couple of years ago, but the cell phone has been tied to my person forever! About 2 months ago I started leaving it on the counter on silent. I don't want to hear, "Pappa, is your iPhone more important than me?"

* Make wise decisions with your TV and movie viewing.

* Read with your kids!   A couple of things I have read with my kids recently. Jesus Calling (kids edition) and several of these "Christian heroes of the faith" books that are easy reads about different missionaries (Eric Liddle, Jim Elliot, etc.).

* Know their culture. You don’t have to be someone you are not, but have an idea. Don't let your 10 year old go see the Hunger Games when you have no idea what it is about.

* Have dinner together as often as possible.

* Every night I put my kids to bed. Pray with them and for them. Model prayer. Model reading your Bible. I kiss them good night and say “I love you. Jesus loves you and I love being your Pappa."

* Don’t let your wife do all the work around the house. You would be surprised what doing a little clean up will do to her mood. The happiness level rises...even more so if you do it together!

* Don’t come home and unload your bad work day thinking she has done nothing all day.

* Hold hands and kiss your wife and let your kids see it.

Those are a few thoughts. Chew on them. Do them. Share your ideas. I would love to have you share them in the comments.

If you are of the female persuasion and you read this, feel free to pass it along to that guy you love. But no using it against them.